Attention Shoppers: I am Freaking Out

I've been back in the "You Is of Hay" for a little more than a week now and the transaction is still beyond a healthy one. The day after I landed in Boston I went to Trader Joe's where I bought some peanut butter, bread, ham, and cheese. The lighting in that store alone was enough to bring me to a chaotic freak-out sessh. There I was, standing in front of the peanut butter section staring at four different kinds of P butter. There was salty creamy, unsalted creamy, salted chunky, unsalted chunky, and the mysterious "Better Than Peanut Butter" situation.

"WHY?!?!?!?", I thought as I gave the side-eye to a fellow shopper who took her time picking out cereals.

For the last three months I've been used to having no peanut butter and shopping in a store where the lighting was concrete florecent and the cookie selection sparse. And I loved it.


Now I sit in my South End apartment and breathe heavily when I look inside my fridge. I see the old dijon mustard I bought at Whole Foods next to the four remaining rum boxes I brought back from Havana. I see the Coke Zero can next to the pot of black beans I tried cooking the night before, an inspiration from Milady (one of the best gal cooks on the planet).

I look outside my kitchen window and I axe Lord Jesus himself "what am I doing here?".


Then I axe Jesus Cristo what Maria is doing, what Chino is doing, what Milady is doing, what Jose Raul is doing. In the midst of my conversation with the big J the television blares a commercial for Empire Carpets. The gal in it exclaims "I paid for this much carpet, when I got T H I S much carpet". I think about how much money my Cuban friends make in one month. That's when I turn around and break open a bottle of the cheapest wine.