La ultima pena

Tonight is my last night in Cuba. I've done almost everything I've wanted to while I was here. And the most amazing part is I've done everything I never expected to in my life. I stood in the kitchen tonight talking to Emma and we both fully, completely, absolutely realized how no one will ever understand our experience here in Havana. People will ask us how Cuba was and what do I say? "Oh it was great" would be the approachable, predictable answer. What I really want and should say is "Cuba is the most tragic, and beautiful place on Earth." Then I'll give them the link to this blog.

I glared at my room tonight after some packing and I just sat on my bed looking at the cozy, windowless room I've called home for the last three months...

Next time I write I'll probably be back in American society. 

Hola Estudiantes

We had the most absurd test today in our Music of Latin America & the Caribbean. Never had I, in my five year college career, had a test like this. The AUDACITY that DR. Leonard Brown has to give us a 4 page study guide is ridiculous for a six week-long course that non of us had the option of choosing for our Cuba trip. Keep in mind, the 4 page study guide is for a week and a half of class work. 

I wanted to throw up after taking the test today.

P.S. I googled one of the songs we had to memorize the first 20 seconds of learn called "Me voy pa'l monte" and came up with the following image. 

The Cheese Ain't Right

So there's this joke my new Cuban friend José Raul told me last night. 

Ahem: Putin, Bush, and Fidel end up in hell where there is only one phone and the devil tells them they can make calls, but it will cost them. Putin steps up and makes a call to Moscow. The devil then tells him "you owe me 80 rubles for the call". Putin pays up and behind him comes Bush who makes a call to Washington D.C. He talks for a little longer than Putin so let's say the devil charges Bush $200. Now it's Fidel's turn to make a call. So there's Fidel making an even longer call to Havana. "How much do I owe you?", axes Fidel. The devil looks at him and says "nothing, that was a local call and local calls are free".

The joke made me think of the day the gals and me went to the Zoo and saw this...

Behold, a fat clown guarding the gates to an abandoned playground. The thought of it alone is as hellish as the cheese in this country. 

Is It Done Cooking?

Today is one day after my bee day and I still feel like an innocent 22 year old. Granted, I have a few more silver hairs going on. I'd like to think that when I reach my thirties I will be a handsome fox like Mr. Cooper from See En En. 

Anyway, this weekend we returned from a trip outside of Havana in a place called Matazanas. I won't even tell the whole story because there is way too much turmoil and strife to report. All I will say is that I lost $100 US dolls, ate bleeding chicken for lunch, and developed a bus drinking problem. The following pictures describe (perfectly) our weekend. 

When we came back from Matanzas it was time to get down to business: my birthday. The gals bought me my people's drank (tequila) along with my real drank (vodka) and some of my adoptive drank (rum). Basically we could have made a Long Island drank with all the provisions I got for my birthday. We also had cake. Real cake. With c h o c o l a t e. Until one goes to Cuba one does not know what it means to go without real chocolate. Usually the stuff here tastes like condensed cocoa powder left to dry in the back of a 7 11 warehouse. 

Once we did the routine (and genuinely heartfelt) happy birthday sing-a-long dedicated to me, we devoured the cake, drank some drank, had some laughs and went out. Normally for a birthday I would have liked to go out to a bar/club, danced the night away, but no...this is Cuba. Instead of club-hopping, pimple-poppin, we went to a stand on 23rd street where they sell the best hot dogs in Cuba. Before we even fully inhaled our 'dogs we stumbled over to Tal Vez, the best restaurant in all Havana. There we ate pizza with real cheese, slurped milk shakes with real chocolate, and dipped fries into real mustard. In the most surreal and bright manner, it was one of the most satisfying birthdays I've had since my Batman themed party in 2nd grade. 

Fotos thanks to Meg and Tara respectively.